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3 Ağustos 2014 Pazar

last resort

this is my last requiem after farewell
how we decided that alteration
always in same but different sides
i recall you for the last time...

you're the one deserves noble love
any tear i drip can deify you
we are so incurable by this fate
severe roles we have to act
a consuming tragedy suffered in
my sacrifice was to withdraw

you were the name reminding love
my convinced eyes ever tried to see
i was sane, but away from resort
my past had to decide the pride
even we never said goodbye...
always weak enough to step back

even to all fake legends telling same
can't believe 'none goes eternally'
yet i know i lost completely
then my quesitons create new ones
serenity on solution with all wonder
must only the deads be sent
through a grave without a tear
for me you're dead pretending alive
have to celebrate this funeral
i know sorrows are not forever

even we never said goodbye...
this was my last requiem for you
after farewell without a goodbye
this is my lat resort to you

a true and to eternity

dreadful hours quicken the time
i feel everything summerized
that was my first choice to leave
i blot the papers once again
just to drip my sorrow out

this is the sunset of my love
my heart could see over the dusk
it is a virtual entity of this life
that exists sans a sorrow, why?
total abstraction this is, i condemn

ever tried to join this nature
all my seduction had no exception
words were the reason to oblige
secret ways of survival out here
ruined after mighty distortion

surounded by the secret ghosts
to feel, i am to be alone forever
alteration is a nonsense solution
my innocence was not such obscene
methinks, this is my clear oblivion

dreaming of melancholy


this is a night of dimmed lights
where the winds embraced my flesh
saturnine atmosphere tended to drowse
and make my breath join the wind
cold night, cold colors i feel
something between love and hate
their mismatch in their own type
drives me to wrong way to chose
that was my mere content...

i'm the name of melancholy

noble eyes to share the tragedies
so feeble, then i lay with my Muse
did know her choice was different
yet i was to transfer my misery
to give her an idea to get out

this is a tale of different hearts
where i adorned even her rejection
elegant sentences were to confuse
and characters died of cruel love
as if an outstanding end to cry
i'm the story of that sad memory
the hero of that nameless tale
all authors never to connect
me and my melancholic dreams

im the name of melancholy

is this the magic i craved
she difuse unwise enigmas in me
i have attended in the chains
of consuming injection by tears
we're subject of this dream

i'm the name of melancholy

subjectives

sustain of terrible stories injected
yearn a safe place despite the trust
i'm the only subject of this life
all i have to be a sad memory
my flesh drips a tear tenderly

i've counted days for revealed hopes
and waited the sign of elevation
then the Godly present was sent
over my darkness she was the light
uphaply it was the beginning of the night

i've entered different ways of pleasure
injected love in my veins
how i should know rejections
so cruel, without a word
just by the simple behaviours
that leaves much pain inside

they say 'God take all sorrowers
and cherish to the highest thrones'
i wonder if this tears are enough
so why i am still living in here
why i am still in this reverie

i am the only subject of this life
despite the trust, i seek a place...

withering ideals

nameless alternative tragedy
agression breed tear a time
side aside through extremity
within a lesser use of senses
blind the future of destiny

the fast ideas became faster
there are far too many
overwhelming confusion replaces clarity
stop keeping up with it...memory gone
infectious humor ceases to amuse

everything is now against the serenity
you're irritable...
anger, fear...uncontrollable
trapped in the dark caves of the mind
caves that you never know were there

it will never end

nameless alternative utopia
darkness inspired a light from me
sane ideals against disorders
corrupted by unseend intensivity
it will never end

atheist

your splendid beauty recovers
i know all these are vitual
the projection of the unknown life
how i could believe in you

i'm the object to be complaint
lack of connection, out of signals
mere trance to reject elevations
i fail into confusion of extremity
my past failure was to believe in you

your religion to slain my mind
weaker than a philosopher
mightier than a Goddess
the postulates are the paradoxes

even i blaspheme, even i deny
i'm the exception of your heaven
surrounded by your slaughter
i worship everything in you, even to you
couldn't relinquish your inspiration

there must be a way to filter
all chosern meanless trust
the trail i have been following
is my chosen eager to melancholy
or convince me otherwise

untrustful sense

brightness of stars began to fade
moon reflectaeddarkness until then
my rotation with mother earth
lost the might of centrifuge
i gained different colors in here
will i be stronger again?
my source of tears dried out
that was my unfathomable logic in life

fast seconds released everything
my past from creases on skin
i shaped my expectations 'a body'
with a tendency of loving her

she talked to me in the language
that i never heard before
then i reversed everything that night
in the mood without a hope
my blurred eyes saw fake visions
i was so sensitive to be broken (in two)
how to be sure she had no lie
i realized the sense of hallucinations

19 Temmuz 2014 Cumartesi

interview with my nymphs

'you seem fearing from something
what is the confusion of your thoughts
even to the simplities in definition
you are always in those unknown
tell me a reason... why?'

the elevated philosophy on my life
all the things spposed to be sacred
should i consider this paranoia an abuse
judge myself and face up affairs
s if my noble paradigma withering

'your mental situation is too complex
how can you love such tragedy
you deified illusions, devised as crystals
and activated the inner sense
you're dying by that magic, why?'

i know my complexion is my perfection
elegance in beliefs means nothing
my deep knowledge made me mute
the splending magic surrounding my flesh
abstract me from life...

'rotate the hourglass and countdown
to the serenities  of cruel time
secrets of life drips hope forever
someone, something will understand
release this pessimism outside...'

i feel every second a torture
this is not pessimism, more reality
it's my tendency to the otherside
pale visions of future sear, why?
do you see my resons...why?

my lifelong reverie

were the reals i see, was a dream
what is the rate of my will
use blind eyes and surround
invisibles must be the ones to care

i should impose silence in me
to catch deeper steps through me
there must be objective signs to express

the transfer on wrong sides
i fear, i never wanted this be
i was to born again
contrary to the withering reverie
everthing is wrong...

for lust once to be sure
maybe that would be better
a bloody tear to the funeral
here comes the rebel ideas
that end is wrong...

so i 'd get back into the dreams
that has sweet and delighting taste
a little painful optimism
i recall reals to my insomnia
all alone and saturnine

so weird to be understood
a lifelong reverie
at least to feed my complex entity

do blind eyes could see
do deaf ears could hear
to adjust in that reveire
i lay my false observation down

something weird goes on...

survive from the flood

what is this liquid is surrounding
even i confess all refusals
i still do not escape from here
do i consider a saviour to get out

tired of sharing my heart in two
and i don't know how this could be
my only injection was my expectation
can't taste the disgusting love again

there must be a justice in that
to survive myself from the flood
i don't want to die of drowning
in that lethal waters of love

i know, just me who was weak by her
she had my ropes in her hands
i shrink by the feelings that drifts
time already had played with me

the throns of my saturnine destiny
give much of pain now...eternal
forget all the pleasures, dreams...
my deaf ears obsessed with requiems

nothing remained from abstract values
need brighter lights to see
this is where sun lose brightness
wounds of life, sear deeper

my way of exaggerated hopes
now flying under the flood
could this be suicide, i'm craving
would divinity surround after?

has there a place for neurotics?

awake...

vortex of obessive behaviours
valid reasons to play
with the seconds of fate
that was my obligation

at first when i was high
it was tremendous
and i felt strange sensations
like collecting the stars i followed
until brighter ones appeared

insisted on the same dream
i blame myself for that optimism
how long this should go?
all i see is my virtuality

my whole shyness disappeared
right words and gestures were all there
characters became less important
things had the exreme values
sensuality was pervasive

weird past failures in the mind
an utopian imagination registered
the addictive projection to otherside
i forgot to live the reality

the desire to seduce and be seduced
irresistable then...
my marrow was infused with pleasure
courageous feelings of
ease, power, omnipotence, euphoria
everything seemt weak by me

but somewhere this should change
sandless hourglass i turned
a countdown for the awake...

a winter garden

black clouds stole the colors of life
i ws delighted by my only remnant
the diamond tears of crystal eyes
has there anyone to share

frozen tears of nature surrounded
this cold gave everything a shape
all flowers froze
this weird paralyzation in my garden
rejected the dreams from me
then ghostlike bodies returned

i created a new character

my life denied that savage season
marvel crystals as sorrow thorns
did you see?
the snow has a bitter taste
woundlike creases on the skin
my flesh craved more snow

i like stonecold injections

my winter garden of feeling
drag the mankind behaviours
the meaning of desolation is changing
is there anyone to share?

sundrown

beauty...
desire on serpent waves
a fountain of photons
twinkles through eternity
she feels to be a star

as the crimson hues water my eyes
this bright liquid leak into me

this waterlike rays in the air
tending to drag the refreshness in me
my breath dried of temperature
no salt tablet to revive again
and i shiver by this energy
will drown in this shining sea

i see
the sun is my saviour
drifts me through death
within her hermetic atmosphere
she feels to be star...

15 Temmuz 2014 Salı

the frail

i farewelled my ghastly shadow
my transparent beauty brighten
the atmosphere i want to be
staining in the second i fly

i confess this depressive drama

nothing left behind
and destroy all i have
i'm the sole unique
fairly fragile

the drowse in the eyes to be
sans dreams, the unreals surround
my mental projection belied
and virtual images shape
i feel illusions as reals

i regain my overfilled melancholy

a painless tear dripped
froze my mental thoughts
i'm the only frail
joint eternally

complex intimations

how did you get into my life
i never imagine these been
you're the unexpected entity
your dimmed hopes darken me

this can't be so simple
if only there wouldn't be such words
'i love you'
 i'm afraid i'm losing you

i fear from this relation
trustless you're too complex
all the things i rely on you
falling down on my life

so you're to break up
please try to understand me
i'm the cureless paranoid
sick feelings draw my anxiety

don't name the things between us
don't know the feelings between us

we are the false intimation
couldn't know how to love
some mutual feelings has no name

we didn't know how to love...